Last summer goofing around with Cherry . Glad to see this set finally up on Suicidegirls.
She wrecked me.
It was my first romantic encounter in a few years and I was still a bit unsure with how to approach it. I was a cross over with her last guy, not that it ever mattered to me. I just always felt rotten about stealing such sweet kisses from her while she was still with him, Even if it was only for a few days and as my competition I was morally obligated to hate him. Part of me knew with roots like that it was doomed from the start, but she evoked feelings in me I had forgotten all about and I was willing to look past the warning signs. It seems one thing that failed to come back to me was how these things typically ended. Her face was so classically beautiful she looked like an oil painting from the renaissance period hanging on a museum wall. She had long brown hair that ran straight down and framed her soft elven featured face. She was slim and fit with long legs and a slender body, her personality sparked like electricity and her girlish charm and doe eyes had soon cast their magic on me. We worked together in a grocery store, she was a cashier while i was in the produce department. Sometimes during the day I could hear her laugh over the murmur of the radio as it floated over the isles to me, it would always bring a warm feeling and a smile to my face. Things started as harmless flirting, which in my experience is never exceptionally harmless if ever given the opportunity to manifest. We were closing down the store for the night when she told me about breaking up with her boyfriend and how he still wanted her back but she was unsure of what to do. I tried to remain neutral but slyly steer her onto the path of Leaving him for good. I was giddy at the thought of what ifs and that night I started to think over the words i wanted to use to tell her how I felt and more importantly, work up the nerve to say them. I was on my third mental draft when i found out she had decided to give him another chance, my heart sunk half an inch. I back peddled and decided to try and build a solid foundation so when the time was right it would only make sense for her to be with me. I continued to talk and flirt with her at work and it was pretty plain to see i was soft on her. The problem being with women who are that alluring is they get so use to people treating them specially it’s hard for them to notice a difference. Bless their pretty little hearts. Halloween approached and I joked we should dress up at work as tag team wrestlers when we found out we had the same favourite as kids. Although she found the idea funny, I think the thought of being dressed as a man was a little off putting for her because of how unfeminine it was. But I was determined to make the joke happen and more importantly have an excuse to spend some time with her alone making the costumes. I finally convinced her to go through with the idea and we decided to make a day of it. When we met up I was in a state of disbelief for the first few minutes. Out of the confines of the work uniform she looked even more gorgeous than usual and I couldn’t imagine being seen with her in public in my worn old sweater and dirty jeans. She was wearing a brown jacket with matching knee high boots and dark blue tight jeans. She had a small square brown purse on her hip and a thin blue middle eastern looking scarf around her neck. Her eyes were stunning out in the open daylight a kind of blueish colour with a hint of green that changed tint in different lights. We walked to the bus stop and rode to the thrift store where we were going to get our costume supplies. I tried on silly masks and princess crowns to make her laugh and then we proceeded to dig around for what we needed. We found most of what we were after right away but she needed to try on the white pants we picked out for her costume before we bought them. I stood outside the changing stalls holding everything else and staring off into space. When she emerged she walked over to model them for me, she came close to me and put her thumb in the waistband pulling them away from her flat stomach and revealing the top of her black panties underneath to show me they were a bit loose. She asked me what I thought and all I could think to say was perfect. We went back to my place to work on the costumes and listen to music. I lived in a big old rickety house right next door to where we worked. I had 4 roommates, 7 including the dogs, so hiding up in my room was the best option for any form of an intimate moment. I let her pick all of the records because I was curious to see what her taste was. She passed the test, Although since it was my collection it was an easy test to pass. I loved all the records there and would form a connection to her no matter what she chose. She played bob Dylan, arctic monkeys, metric, the Rolling Stones and Bruce Springsteen. We painted and sowed the clothes together and talked for hours. I hadn’t made my intent clear to her yet so it was still in that nice phase where everything was perfect and every little movement she made or story she told became another reason for me to fall for her. She left after a little while and i sat in my room turning the details over in my mind. A few nights later I was tossing and turning, thinking about how things seemed to be building between us and I finally decided to spill the beans and declare my admiration for her. She took it much better than I expected and I could tell she was flattered and felt similar, even though She was reserved. She was still with her boyfriend and told me she was sorry and that things couldn’t be right now and we had to just be friends. But there was something in her tone of voice that told me there was more she wasn’t saying. With that in mind, I invited her over about a week later and we landed on watching a movie, it was cold in that old house so we inevitably ended up with a blanket on top of us. Inch by inch we moved closer and closer. We looked at each other and both knew where things were headed even if our morals made us reluctant to move things in that direction. Our fingers found each other and then pulled away In a game of cat and mouse until we both gave into the temptation and our hands settled into each other. I looked into her eyes and they sparkled with a look that required no further explanation and we both leaned in. Our lips touched softly and I knew it right then in that moment, as soon as we kissed, she wrecked me and I would never be the same.
Art takes discipline. Any asshole can chase a skirt. I drank, thinking about it.
Pain is strange. A cat killing a bird, a car accident, a fire… Pain arrives, BANG, and there it is, it sits on you. It’s real. And to anybody watching, you look foolish. Like you’ve suddenly become an idiot.
- Charles Bukowski
I had a dream I owned a terrarium with a few different animals in it, one was a bird and I’m not sure what kind, but when i opened the top to feed the animals I noticed the bird couldn’t fully expand its wings. And I just realized it means I’m holding myself back and putting myself into situations where I can’t fully be myself or grow into the person I need to be.
I am fucking insane but my intentions are gold and my heart is pure.